Midnight feeding + going to the bathroom = too much work
A long time ago my mother had me print a sign on our old Macintosh computer for the main bathroom. The sign said "To All Men: Please Sit Down When Peeing." I didn't fully comprehend the conseqeunces of this until last night. I just thought that there was a little mess as far as a few drops here and there. Last night....well you can kind of see where I'm going with this.
So let me start this off with a few weeks ago. I did a midnight feeding of the girls and I went to take a piss after. I usually do this with the lights off using the natural moonlight. Let's just say my aim was off. I tried to clean up the mess as fast as possible without Fiona noticing (sorry honey, I'm a bad boy) but she ended up noticing the next morning because of the smell. She cleaned it up but for some reason it still smelled. Apparently she didn't realize the extent of my damage until she removed a plastic bag housing our plunger (on the side of the toilet). Oops. So for a while I relegated myself (at the request of Fiona) to sit down when I take a piss.
Fast forward to last night. I was doing a midnight feeding and I, as usual, went to the bathroom. The past week I decided to take a risk and take a piss standing up. I have been using a little bit more light to see where I was aiming. Well unfortunately I found myself a little groggy going to the bathroom this past incident and I found myself pretty much in the same predicament as I was a few weeks ago. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hide this. So I just confessed and cleaned it up. I cloroxed wipped the toilet, the floor, and chuck the plunger bag. That was not fun at all, especially when you're tired. I got so worked up from that that it took me an hour or so to get back to sleep. Time to follow that sign that I printed out years ago and take a piss sitting down. What a pisser.
So let me start this off with a few weeks ago. I did a midnight feeding of the girls and I went to take a piss after. I usually do this with the lights off using the natural moonlight. Let's just say my aim was off. I tried to clean up the mess as fast as possible without Fiona noticing (sorry honey, I'm a bad boy) but she ended up noticing the next morning because of the smell. She cleaned it up but for some reason it still smelled. Apparently she didn't realize the extent of my damage until she removed a plastic bag housing our plunger (on the side of the toilet). Oops. So for a while I relegated myself (at the request of Fiona) to sit down when I take a piss.
Fast forward to last night. I was doing a midnight feeding and I, as usual, went to the bathroom. The past week I decided to take a risk and take a piss standing up. I have been using a little bit more light to see where I was aiming. Well unfortunately I found myself a little groggy going to the bathroom this past incident and I found myself pretty much in the same predicament as I was a few weeks ago. I knew I wasn't going to be able to hide this. So I just confessed and cleaned it up. I cloroxed wipped the toilet, the floor, and chuck the plunger bag. That was not fun at all, especially when you're tired. I got so worked up from that that it took me an hour or so to get back to sleep. Time to follow that sign that I printed out years ago and take a piss sitting down. What a pisser.
posted by a mindless zombie at 8:05 AM
4 Comments:
No comment.
Actually, I do have a comment, because my previous comments sounds like I pee on the floor.
Fiona should buy you an outhouse in the backyard so all you have to do is hose it out if you miss the 12" x 12" hole.
Amen! I wish all men/boys were taught to always sit when they pee at home.
I guess that's why they made urinals. Men still manage to miss those too though. Just stand in the shower and piss. It will then clean itself when you shower in the morning.
Post a Comment
<< Home